Seasons of pain amid a season of joy...

I don't like to be writing about sad things at this time of the year but it would seem these days of the year are not to be exempt from pain and suffering...

My heart is breaking for two of my co-workers right now... In the last two weeks both have, suddenly & heart-wrenchingly, each lost a son (20yrs and 25yrs old). Both were unexpected deaths - one by his own hand and the other due to a fall - and I cannot even start to imagine what they must be going through. As a mother, I have at times allowed myself to think about losing one of my own and the thought alone has broken my heart and left me in tears. I cannot conceive how a mother or father can endure this pain. For myself, the thought has caused me to be overwhelmingly thankful to the Lord that this, so far, has not been my lot, and, also, to the realization that if I ever had to walk that path - somehow, somehow, He would be what I needed at that time. He has promised that and I know He would be. But these two don't know Him - how can they be getting through the pain? What do they do when they know they will never see their babies again? What do they do as they search their memories for the last words that were spoken between them? Did they tell them they loved them? Were the last words spoken in anger or misunderstanding? How do they feel as they try to remember the touch of their face, the embrace of their arms, the smell of their skin? What do they do with the presents they have already bought and wrapped for that child? How do they live with the knowledge that they weren't there at the last moments when, perhaps, their child needed them the most? I just don't know....

Last night when I was working, one of them, Diane, came into the OCC and I was on the radio but gave her a quick glance and smile. Then, seconds later, before I knew it, she was leaving - she'd just come to check her mailbox and now she was leaving and no-one had said a word to her! And she'd just buried her son two days before! I was speechless. Granted, we were busy - but, with what???? I immediately excused myself, told my partners I'd be right back and ran after her. When I called her name, she turned to look at me - and I will never forget the look in her eyes. Just a quick flash of hope that someone cared enough to say something. I didn't know what to say, so I just stood there helplessly, with open arms, and said, "Diane, please.... can I just give you a hug?" She ran into my arms and we hugged, cried and cried some more. I had no words - just tears.... But we connected and I believe those tears and that hug said all and more than my words could have.

So, there you go - sorry to cause you sorrow, if I did, but I, for one, am coming into this Christmas with a fresh perspective on the blessing we have of having family around us and being so thankful for every day, every hour, every minute and every second spent with those we love. Please, if you think about them, remember Diane, Theresa and their families in your prayers.... Dear God, heal their hearts....