...and some things in life should be changed while others just shouldn't be tampered with...
I learned a lot last night. And I think it was good. I'm not sure where to even begin. I was going into my first nightshift in my new job and was not looking forward to the craziness of a Friday night in the police world, especially as my work now is entirely different from what I learned in training. And I mean totally different. And all I could think of was, "Of all the nights to start...a Friday! It's going to be a zoo!" So, on the way, I grabbed a Starbucks so that at least something was going to go right (LOL!) and headed in...
Well, to say I was in for a surprise would be the understatement of the century!! There were three of us working (usually two, but I'm a newbie-in-training and don't count - ha ha) and so I was all hyped up for the night but when I started to talk to them about what was "going" to happen, they were just laid back and said, "Nah, Fridays aren't usually busy at all..." What the heck? Well, I learned that they know their job! The constables were all out of the office all night, the work basket was emptied in short time (by me!) and the rest of the night we rarely saw anyone! "Hmmm...", I thought to myself, "maybe I could get to like this job!!" I had enough work to keep me busy but the other two didn't have much because I had to "learn the work"... That was Surprise Number One.
Surprise Number Two really knocked the feet out from under me. It blindsided me and I never saw it coming. During the night, the two girls and I talked more (we had the time - LOL!) and my previous job dispatching came into it a lot as they wanted to know more about what it was like. This made me so homesick for, not only my friends in Edmonton, but the job itself... So, on my break (yes, you guessed it) I headed up to their Comm Centre to feed my loneliness and to be with my "like kind". The supervisor wasn't in so I didn't stay long - it was Friday up there but nothing like the OCC Friday nights. They dispatch for fire, ambulance, and police so it was different. But as I sat there and listened to some of their calls, I felt a tension building way down deep inside me that I couldn't explain. It was a taste of the adrenalin rush of the past 6.5 years of my life that I've been missing. It was so familiar as it built and was so comfortable while, at the same time, was very uncomfortable. Really weird. After about 6-8 minutes, I said goodbye and left and went to the lounge to grab a nap. Well, that didn't happen as I discovered their couches are NOT the same comfy ones I was spoiled with in the old job. I made a mental note to bring a pillow tomorrow night. But when I did get semi-relaxed I discovered that sleep alluded me as my mind was still racing from the familiar "rush" I'd just experienced. And then IT happened. Suddenly I realized that I didn't like that rush and I didn't want to do that anymore - at least not right now. It was a startling realization because, in my mind, I would have given anything to be back in dispatching the past month. It was familiar ground, something I knew and felt confident in and competent doing. Not like what I was doing now - where I felt incompetent and downright stupid sometimes. But now what was I to do? I've already talked to my boss about working part-time in the comm center. And, are you ready for this?? When I got back after my break, I went into Job Postings (don't really know why at this particular time) and there IT was! A brand new posting from the day before - for dispatch! I thought this was my "dream-come-true" and, suddenly...it wasn't. I didn't know what to do. My heart was churning for the rest of the night and, when I had the chance, I prayed and prayed that God would guide me and help me unscramble all these new emotions going on inside me. Well, I firmly believe He did. Because two things happened after that - first of all, I spoke more with my co-workers and discovered, much to my surprise, that the "casual" work I'll be doing once my training is through will be mainly dayshifts...not the two days/two nights that I thought it would be. That won't happen until I become permanent. This was a plus for me because nights and I don't mix very well. I've felt so much better the past month for not working them... Then, secondly, as I was getting ready to leave in the morning (more on that later... ha ha), I was waiting at the door and talking to one of the dispatchers and he brought up the posting and said that, yes, they were hiring three people but that, in his eyes, the three casuals that they have now would just be moving into those positions, so the job is not really open after all. That almost clinched it for me. What did finally clinch it was, when I got home, I talked to Tanya and she helped me see that maybe, for right now, dispatching isn't for me. If I got uptight and tense just being in there five minutes (but please realize it was a familiar, and therefore, a good feeling for me), then maybe I should just give it a rest for now and enjoy the peaceful nights and days that seem to be laying before me. I think it's just that, since I've been here, I've longed to be back in a job where I felt accepted, knowledgeable, needed - one in which I excelled and loved. Then, suddenly, within the span of a few hours, my whole outlook was changed. Weird, very weird...
Surprise Number Three - and this is where part two of the "old habits" thing comes into play. Some things in life should be changed (my job) and some things (where I put my spare keys) just shouldn't be! It was a brisk night and there was frost on the windows, so ten minutes before my shift end, I ran out to start my car. I have my Saturn on this trip (no command start luxury), so I had to physically go out and do it. But I knew that I always keep a spare key in my change purse and I didn't even need to look to verify it was there because I remembered Floyd making sure I had one before I left. And I never put my spare keys anywhere else....I thought. All was well until I got back in the office, put my stuff away and went to get the key that (you guessed it) wasn't there!!! I couldn't believe it!! Thank the Lord for my AMA membership so I gave them a call and, half an hour later (and a few bucks in gas!), they showed up. I still, for the life of me, couldn't figure out how I had lost my spare key!! Until I got in my car. As I was driving home, I looked at my key chain and there, hanging on a clip, was my spare key!!! How silly! Then I remembered. The unique idea that had struck me last week. I have a clip on my keychain for tokens for Safeway and Superstore (to be used for the carts) and I remember thinking it would be an ideal place to clip on my spare key so I could just unclip it whenever I wanted to start my car and lock it again! Nope, it was NOT an ideal place. And I learned the hard way:
Some habits should just be enjoyed and not changed....
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